Dear T,

It's me again. People at work are driving me crazy, i just want to be alone. I want people to leave me ALONE. Yes, the one who has attachment/dependency issues wants to be ALONE at work. I want people not to take their frustration out on me. I just want to tell them, got a complaint? Go **** yourself! I tried to help them and nothing matters. I'm apparently not doing things to their satisfaction. They are welcome to do it themselves. Can't they just go away? I just want to do my job and go home. I don't want to be responsible for something not in my pay grade.

I'm trying to keep hold of my armor and hide behind it. But my armor has been breached. My social anxiety seems to be letting everyone in so they can hurt me and I hate it. I hate that I am not the one in control. I despise it.

A person was being critical of what I was/wasn't doing and I accidentally said something that showed how frustrated I was going on. I was just as surprised as she was.

I don't know who to be tomorrow. I want to be the candid me and tell them if they want it done a certain way to feel free to do it themselves, it won't bother me a bit. I feel so vulnerable and I don't know how to protect myself.

This makes me SOOOO angry, and I hate that I am even wasting my time being angry. I can't help how I feel.

How did I end up here? Why am I so angry? Why can't i just let it all go? I am trying to suppress all of my non positive energy emotions, and I predict an explosion, but hope to avoid one.

What do I do, T? How do I handle this? I am trying so hard not to show my emotions. I feel like sobbing uncontrollably just to get this feeling out. But I can't cry, I'm just stuck with this horrible feeling. I need you to help me. I'm really afraid. I don't know how to extract myself from this situation. Do you?

just me