Well, this thread has answered my question about what is the point of coping.

I realized the emptiness is not a bad thing...just space to fill with new experiences.

I have anxiety and that stops me. Then it turns into depression. For me the anxiety always comes first.

We should all remember, too, that sometimes grief is disguised as depression. If we are holding on to something...or some things...expectations...memories...abandonment...etc. - this is grief rising to the top and being expelled.

Oh, it is a tough journey. But I am feeling more optimistic. This thread really, really has helped me and I want to thank every single person who contributed to this thread...especially for your bravery in sharing. Which is also all about... caring.