Hi everyone,
I have been trying to deal with this issue for what seems like forever. I have been up now for weeks, and had to deal with a ex wife now who I believe has Borderline Personality Disorder. For years I dealt with emotional pain she gave me, she made me feel less of a person, at first it was great. She seemed amazing and I was happy. Then we broke up 3 times. Each time because she said "I wanted a romance novel". So then one day she called me up and we got back together. This time we quickly moved in together then quickly got married. It was great at first, then two years into our marriage she decided after a discussion with me, and me stating it was too soon for children, she decided on her own she wanted to get pregnant with our child. After my oldest son was born things began to spiral down. She wasn't as involved in his life. So I talked her into kid number two because I thought it would fix things. It didn't. Then as things went on she had an emotional affair with a co worker that may or may not have turned physical. Eventually her mother moved in our new home and I was removed. She asked me to leave in 2015. I was always picking her up off the floor. She had crashed multiple times in small ways making things more miserable. At the end she said I never did things that I had done. She said I never sent her flowers or gave her enough attention....Which to me seemed odd since that's all I did. I still don't know her reasons for wanting me gone other then I didn't give her more attention.

So after the divorce she has been multiple men. Sometimes 3 at a time (not at the same time). She had a huge amount of sex partners, once I can confirm she thought she may have been pregnant with one of there children. She didn't know which one it would have been. I helped her that night as her ex by picking her up off the floor (literally and figuratively). She had me take care of my children as my ex mother in law was not available. She asked me to sleep over, at first in our old bed then I moved to the couch. That morning she found out she was not pregnant, but now one of her men had dumped her, the one she actually wanted a relationship with, the other two where her "boy toys" she said. After I got the kids on the road to school she literally dismissed me. Since then (even way before) communication has stopped or is barley there.When it does happen it either goes to little or bad to insulting. So she also decided to spend less time with our children. She went out multiple times during the week and every weekend, while I had them for the last year and a half every weekend.

That being said after an 8 week courtship with 3 or more men, she decided to dump all the other men and marry one of them. She is 38 and he is 28. She didn't tell our children until the wedding day. This came as a shock to me, as I felt this was quick and irresponsible. At that time I asked for her to give me my kids full time. I was already seeing them weekly and my oldest son would ask her to stay home and she hasn't or wouldn't. So three weeks ago she told me she would think about it, making things bad for everyone involved. My sons now want to live with me full time. She heard this, argued and said she may consider it. At this time she, her new husband, and her mother went on the offensive saying horrible things. Like I won't take them to movies anymore, or be the cool dad. Then after I encourage a conversation she said to my oldest he would be leaving them, and how excited it will be now because she has decided to have another child. The backlash to this was personally to me awful to all parties.

Tuesday she decided it was time to discuss what I would do in this situation if I had them. After 27 min she said she would give them too me. Her questions where odd and in my opinion not legit questions someone should ask. More concerned odd weird things and not real facts like school or living information, but like how could I find them local doctors, and if my 4th grade son will be a 5th grader next year.
We did have a discussion yesterday after my son didn't want to go to school. Her opinion was I guess he didn't have too because he didn't want too. She asked me to talk to him to make him go. I did that and he went saying it wasn't an option he NOT go. She said she doesn't know how to act or say anymore to get him to do that right things. My youngest seems not effected. My oldest very much is. So I asked her to start being more transparent with them, and maybe have a fun night discussing what was going on and what we can do to make the transition fully. During the day she worked on court paperwork to make the change she said she is giving me today. She told him she would get them early from day care.
As someone who might guess, none of this happened. She was two hours late to get them, she decided to not "ruin" the day by talking about it and have the new husband play video games with my oldest. She then told me how my oldest was doing poorly and hiding bad grades from the last 3 weeks. I asked her what she had planned to do with that information and she told me nothing, and told me she didn't need my help or to talk.
So she says she will give me the paperwork needed tonight, she also is on prenatal vitamins because I guess getting pregnant now and not later is what she is doing. I am very concerned for her. This seems like she is heading for a major crash in the long run. She wont listen to me, I understand that. I have given up hope of a good resolution at this point. I have had to move on personally and realize after multiple attempts to prove that I am not who she thinks I am, that we personally will never get back together. So at this point I want to try and get this emotional roller coaster to stop for me and my children. I feel once she gets pregnant she will never see them again, which may or may not be accurate. But personally I am very concerned. How do I try and get her the help she needs without actually getting involved? No one is saying slow down,. No one is saying stop. What do I do? I don't have answers personally I do need them, but it's not time for that. Now I am so concerned about her and what comes next it keeps me up at night. Any suggestions or questions or clarifications will be helpful.