I feel I was retraumatized in a sense by my marriage counselor. He knew about some stuff that had happened in the past with a high school teacher for whom I had transference. How I'd confided in him and then, at a really bad point for me emotionally, when I was really vulnerable, he told me to never contact him again.

MC had often promised never to abandon me and kept telling me any outside contact was fine. In December, I told him via e-mail how much I loved him (platonically, but he kept believing it was romantic--he confirmed this later). We ended up on a phone call later that week in which he was very harsh to me, which ended with him saying I needed to reduce outside contact. It felt again like I'd been vulnerable with a male authority figure for whom I had transference, and then that person pushed me away. And MC *had* to realize it would hurt me, because of various things we'd talked about, including my fears of abandonment/rejection, and the fact that he kept reassuring me about those things.

We've had a couple conversations (in session and on a long phone call) about it since then, and I'm feeling a bit better about it, but still feel like my connection to him and trust in him is gone, and we'll likely be terminating when we see him in a couple weeks (it will have been a month since we last saw him).