Hello all,
I got clean and sober Dec, 23, 2015.
I told my then fiance that I was done. I would no longer participate in self destruction with her. She moved out the next day, her diary said "And this time I think he means it." I meant it, and since then my life has really been better. No more high highs and low lows, but a platue. I'm just going to out with it. I am miserable. I feel empty and void of emotion. Sure somedays aren't so bad. I feel like at best I make it to content, never happy, and most days ambivalent. Some days sorrow. I dont know what to do. I am trapped in a small town local AA groups and support groups do me no good all they do is create gossip. I'm not a religious person so church groups our out. I think the reason I'm so miserable is a lack of friends. When I sobered up all those "friends" fell of the face of the planet and I'm okay with that. They did a lot of damage on their way out, and that had left me very untrusting. I'm not in anyway saying I want to go back to that destructive lifestyle, I guess I'm just sayin how do I continue to move forward?