Idk I just have severe abandonment issues, a lot of unhealthy attachment issues, I overshare almost immediately and I practically fall in 'love' with everyone new if they seem 'cool' like if I think i'll like them I just absolutely LOVE them, even platonically, and then if something happens that they prove themselves human the entire illusion is shattered and I think one of two things, depending on what the action was, either I think well they clearly weren't what I thought they were and I stop 'worshipping' them, or if the action hurts me in any way I immediately think it was on purpose and go into "THIS IS AN ABUSER ABORT ABORT HIDE RUNAWAY" mode.

It's really exhausting tbh lol I've worked on it a lot even without therapy, remade some friendships that I had cutoff because they were 'toxic friendships' when really the other person was just being human and I expected them to be perfect, and they've turned out to be really valuable friendships. I just have to constantly remind myself that people are only people, and yes they can hurt you and yes they can help you, but there are no heroes and villains, there is just people.

Like I feel a bit as if my brain is a child's storybook, and there are heroes and there are villains and there are victims (such as myself, and others I see that are like me) and there is no one else. There is nothing else.

IDK if that makes sense, but all of my symptoms, I can't really separate which comes from which, but I'm diagnosed PTSD (likely cPTSD) and 'unspecified bipolar' (pretty sure it's type 1 but I could be wrong)

So like... overlapping symptoms etc etc, wouldn't surprise me if I have all three but I certainly have symptoms of all three and some that seem like they belong to one rather than the other for each one, if that makes sense? But I'm no professional.