I suspect my mom is a mix of narcissist and borderline. She would get inexplicable fits of rage, and then insist to be spoken to respectfully, because she as our mom was so special. Rarely was anything her fault, and to present date, she now turns 80, she says the issue was me being such an uncooperative and difficult child.

I am not properly diagnosed, but all my symptoms point to BPD, so yea, I probably would have been difficult.

My mom claims to not remember the numerous times she beat me, especially not the more severe incidents, she recalls my brother's last lunch as harmonious, when he hanged himself it wasn't anyone's fault but just an accident, and she learnt little from it.

So one would think I should have had a clear idea in my twenties of having mental health issues, coming from such a dysfunctional background, but I didn't. I saw a therapist in my 30s for being depressed, and the whole mess didn't come apparent to me until 2 years ago.

Strange are the ways the BPD mind