Your mother sees you repeateadly getting on with abusive men, so she clearly isn’t happy about it. If you can drive all the time to see this man, then you can afford to be on your own. She probably thinks that if you have energy driving to please this man, you should have energy to work full time. I have no control over who my daughter dates and I never tell her, but if she lived under my roof and ran around pleasing abusers, she’d have to live on her own.

You have a teenage daughter whom you don’t gave custody of but I believe you were awarded visitations. You should focus on seeing your daughter and being a role model (would you like her to have no self respect either?). Also put energy into looking for improving your life. This man broke up with you because he refuses to come see you. And you still want to drive to sleep wuth him. You need to respect yourself more.

Also taking in consideration how he shoved objects into your genitalia against your will, next time he’ll do something worse. You never know which trip might be the last. Abusers and rapists often start their abuse slow. You keep coming back sohe knows he can do anything now.

Do you see a therapist?