When you say you got “clean” r you referring to drugs? I ask bec I’ve read that certain drugs have the ability to actually kill the production of seretonin or at least reduce the amount being made. Some can lose the feeling of happiness, joy, ability to thrive. So this recovery can take many yrs.
maybe that’s not the issue.

So I feel like you’re saying you did a major internal house cleaning & you’ve able to maintain that. That should be celebrated. I hope you know that!!!
Now that your house is empty what do you wanto fill it with? What interests you? If you wento a book store & had unlimited money, what books would you wanto explore? Classics, how to books? New hobby? What makes you curious & holds your interest. Even something small.
I agree with the above post too. Meet up seems worth a try.
Best of luck & start small.