irnmn,

Your ex wife is just that your ex and it's at the point where not only is there little you can do when it comes to her choices, but she clearly doesn't want your help. From what you have shared your ex-wife doesn't "care' about anyone but herself and your son's anxiety issues are reflecting how that is affecting him which is all the more reason to focus your attention on your children so they can have a stable adult they can count on and perhaps have a home environment that they can feel safe in too.