i know how hard it is to tell secrets... and i also know how important it is to find safe people to tell them too... if your not ready for your friend to tell your mom then you need to find someone to talk with...here on the board is a great start...but it was really important for me to find someone in real life to tell...when i tried to tell my closest friend she kind of freaked out... so i haven't told her again... i know that the reason she did was because of her concern for me...sometimes it's really hard for people who care about you not too...you know? is there a councilor at your school? sometimes there are local programs... you can check with the crisis center in your area...they can put you in contact with a t in your area that understands si... i know for me my t has been my safe person to tell my secrets...and i know that what is said to him will stay there... that is really important to me... but i also know and need him to hold me accountable when i am unable to do that for myself... i do the same thing as you do... i know i can't cut within a certain window of time between doctors appointments... i don't want my med doc to know about my si... stay safe...and take gentle care of yourself...lyn