Hey, Ocean. My husband stays up later than I do and I was amused when I realized that if I left all the lights on in the living room, like they are when I go to bed and he's still up, that I could go to sleep much better.

That was all 10+ years ago. I was in therapy 1996-2005 because my stepmother got senile after my father's death in 1992 and I started coming unglued since I was having to help take care of her and it was dredging up all the issues from my childhood (my mother died July 1954 and my father remarried November 1955) and making me incredibly anxious. If this too controlling, forceful, strong woman couldn't take care of herself, what chance did I have? That sort of thing. Working on my own issues in therapy meant that I'm not quite so anxious about being able to "care" for myself.

However, now my husband and I are both retired. He's 7 years older than I am, and I'm starting to do the "what will I do when he dies?" thinking in the middle of the night. I'm working on that by figuring out some of the things that might be a problem (finances) and learning about and taking them over now so I'm more comfortable with how my life "works". We're working on getting our wills made and talking a bit about getting older, etc. and by facing my fears I'm less anxious overall.