So, Info yesterday.

She knew I was angry at her because I’d sent her an email Wednesday saying so and saying why. So she starts by thanking me for coming in to resolve things ( ). Then she compliments my hair (pulled back, not free like usual).

Obvious attempts to placate me out of the way, we start talking about the email. One of the two big things I was angry about was that two sessions ago we spent the whole time on my hearing and I thought she had learned something about how to best communicate with me. But the next session she was back to the old habits that led to having that conversation in the first place: not speaking clearly, not orienting herself so she was facing me straight-on, etc.

It was during this that I punched a chair. It wasn’t so much because of her as because of what her failure to adapt was symptomatic of: the way the rest of the hearing world treats people who don’t hear. She didn’t react negatively to the punch and asked if my hand was all right.

Then we moved on to the second topic: specifically how she kept pushing me to have a three-way meeting with No. 3 last fall. And an even bigger deal to me, my discovery on Tuesday night when I was clearing my email tracking history that it looked like 3 had forwarded an email of mine to her. I did authorize them to talk. I did not authorize them to exchange anything else. Whether or not it’s a legal violation of confidentiality, it feels like one—plus I should have been told about it. Now it’s pretty clear by now 3 has never met a boundary she didn’t want to run down with an eighteen-wheeler and then back up over for good measure, so par for the course for her, but I have repeatedly asked Info to tell me when she acts on permission to consult, and she agreed.

Now she put on a fine display of therapist obfuscation. First she didn’t remember if she’d been forwarded the email (believable, since she is a giant flake), she didn’t think so, and said she would look through her emails to be sure. Why she hadn’t already done that I don’t know. Then I pointed out to her that she had in fact mentioned back in December that I had emailed 3 on this topic, the first session after I sent that email. (At the time I assumed 3 had mentioned it, not forwarded a whole email. Even then, the evening Info mentioned that, I canceled their permission to talk to each other.) She said she must have known about the email because I told her...nope, I know for sure I didn’t mention it, because it wasn’t relevant to Info imo. (It was like in a mystery where the murderer’s identity is revealed because he knows some detail the police have held back.) Then she started to argue that my permission for them to communicate covered anything they thought was relevant, at which point I snapped back that if that were true their permission forms wouldn’t have little boxes to check off saying what they could and couldn’t share. Parts of a client’s file is a separate check box from consultation. And that neither of them offered a disclaimer about the confidentiality of email in their paperweight rk or at the end if their emails. She said that was open to interpretation, and I snapped back yeah, you guys use that same excuse, it’s open to interpretation, when you violate “first do no harm.” And then broke down crying at the thought of past harm to me. Which at least stopped the therapist obfuscation.

After that I think we talked about therapist harm to me. We didn’t really resolve anything, and she didn’t apologize for anything. So I’m planning to bring up the email again next week.

Right now, she just looks like another giant therapist flake who tries to do at a client whatever crosses her mind at the time without thought of consequences or a plan, assured she can always come up with an excuse if things go wrong.