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Originally Posted by DechanDawa
What would happen if you decided to do more...even as you are now? My mother had cancer off and on for 20 years from age 40 to 60 when she died. She was very productive. She pushed for joy. This didn't mean she did not have depression. She did. She just did not let it run her life.
I think how my mother did this is when she felt better she would do something. She didn't waste a positive moment.
That is how depression is and how you describe it, isn't it? It isn't a static mindset. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes I feel we do make depression into a sort of god that we must always bow down to...like saying we can't do this or that because we are depressed.
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I totally agree that the depressive feelings are just feelings. I let them be there for a while but then I have enough... And I'm able to say "***** off" to the feelings. Except when they are overwhelming, then I just try to wait until they pass to be at least a bit less absolute. How I say "***** off" to them is by telling myself that whatever (if there is a concrete thing) is causing me to feel down now isn't worth that much to feel so negative about it beyond a point. I'm not able to do this to all types of negative feelings but I'm able to say this to the depressive type of negative feelings (if this made sense). Then they are gone for a while before they come back again.
Your mom's story is inspiring.
It made me think a bit and I think a problem of mine is that I hardly derive joy out of doing things. Or it could help in positively building up myself/my life, yeah... I mean, I do get to feel good for a second or two when I get something done, but then I am back to emotionally neutral.
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I do know what you mean about the lung cancer, though. I was a smoker and I won't have a test to see if I am in the clear. It could very well be my time is limited. I feel guilty wasting time.
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Luckily it's more likely that you are in the clear than that you are not. Still, if one day you are able to somehow manage the anxiety (?) about it, I really hope you go get checked out. Maybe someone else could go with you? Sorry, I don't know if that's helpful.
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Insofar as letting the wrong kind of people into your life. Well, you are in control of that. You are probably in a lot more control than you believe, te.
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I'd like to add, we are also in control of going out and finding new people who treat us better. This is something I need to remind myself of. (Easier for me to cut off someone who treated me wrong than to go and find new people.)
I actually want to ask: what's the most effective way of letting a friend know that I believe in them? I have exactly one friend now, and I want to let her know. I've tried before. I'd like to do this better though. (She's not in a good place.)
Maybe I should just directly tell her that I believe in her?
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I have been thinking lately that my family and old friend kind of keep me down. For whatever reasons (of their own) they have low expectations of me...which I then fulfill. So now I am starting to feel glad they aren't anywhere near me. I have a chance to start over...with raised expectations.
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Were they directly telling you that they have low expectations of you?
And yeah, if they made you feel bad and it was not accidental (and they would not discuss the issue with you to solve it), good that you are no longer around them.
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You survived a terrible physical ordeal. Please be kind to yourself. Please don't bang your head against the wall, te. You don't deserve that. You deserve respect for what you have been through. 
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This is so nice of you to say, actually. I know you were writing this to someone else, but still feels good to read this. Thanks!