Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
I know. My kids have seen this toxic relationship for their whole lives. I am so proud of them for being as healthy and great as they are. My little one said last year, during a blow up, “I don’t care if you get divorced or not, just stop this!” But nothing changed. I’m so sorry about the toxic relationship they had to be the children of. And I’ve always talked with them about how what they see is not normal, not healthy, and what is healthy.
But what can I do? I can’t stop having trauma reactions, panic attacks, depression, toxic relationship with my husband. I can’t bring myself to end the marriage.
One psy said “This is never going to end.”
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I'm glad that you see this. My parents were in absolute denial about it.
What can you do? Move out. Pursue your happiness and show them that self-care is important. Model healthy behavior for them. Show them they don't have to stay in a bad situation, that they have the ability to choose.
You can stop your reactions, with therapy and hard work, and REMOVING yourself from the toxic relationship, you can change things for yourself. But you choose not to. Because the pain of changing seems greater to you than the pain of living with it for the rest of your life. By staying in the marriage, you re-traumatize yourself and can't get past any of your trauma symptoms...For you to move forward and heal, you will have to remove yourself from the trauma itself.
I will be honest, I do not know how you look at the rest of your life in this situation, knowing how miserable you will be, and don't want to change it in a real way. I say that you don't want to change it because you choose to continue to suffer through it. Martyring yourself for god knows who.
I know I am being a little tough, but it's only because I want to see a happy and healthy TishaBuv.