Would he agree to a trial separation rather than a divorce? You say you want to travel -- would one of your friends be interested in going on a long summer trip? Could your son participate in part of the vacation (I assume he is mostly occupied during the summer). When I left for nearly an entire month from my H, I noticed I still had many bipolar symptoms. Leaving him for 25 days did not solve it though he does aggravate/set me off. I have been more assertive and my children are proud of that but I have to guard against falling back into my old ways (doing what he wants even when I don't feel comfortable doing it). You have been having these problems for a long time. They are so complicated.