There have been times when one past T has done things that would be considered boundary crossings by just about any therapist. I became the therapist and he became the client at times; role reversal. At first, I just accepted it, but later, I would handle the situation with T as a T would with a client.

If it adds to the conversation, I would just like to say that I see many people on this forum assume something is a boundary of another person.

For example, people don't want to email their therapist in fear of crossing a boundary when it is not known whether or not the therapist even uses emails (many therapists consider emails part of their job). How would you know you are crossing someone's boundary (within reason as some things are just obvious)?

Just yesterday, I read on here a therapist's claim that a client crossed a boundary by bringing him leftover office candy. Unless there was a sign in his office "Please do not bring candy" or maybe stated "I do not accept gifts of any kind", how would the client know she is crossing the therapist's boundary by bring candy?

Not thinking of anyone here in particular, but sometimes the assumed boundary is actually the boundary of the person doing the assuming as sense of self issues can blend these sorts of things. (ie, if I find unplanned calls intrusive, if I don't have a solid sense of self, instead of 'seeing' the other person as separate from me, I might assume everyone else finds unplanned calls intrusive; meanwhile, some may welcome unplanned phone calls.)

So maybe the T here has sense of self issues; so at times, doesn't see you as a separate person from her. Don't know enough about the situation to make strong opinions. Just thoughts.