I'm just doing what I think I'm supposed to do.. it's confusing

I feel like I can't think.. I feel empty
I'm not even sure I should use the word feel because. I don't really feel anything.

I'm just an observer Anymore, if that makes sense..

I got my disability hearing date this week... funny..
May 4 I think. I should know if I'm going to survive by then...

I messed up a lot friday... Having a hard time .. jyst don't feel here