Extremely difficult. I believe that if I found a room mate my quality of life would be healthier and happier.
Right now my desire to live is that I don't care to wake up when I go to bed at night.
My rights in the house always come second and I am treated like an invalid and "reminded" of it when I talk
about getting it together and going back to work or getting a driver's lisence.
He also has taken away my EBT card numerous times to save his own money from being spent on food
and he has it in his wallet right now even.
I made it clear to my mother back when she was alive that I was going to move out as soon as I could and get
as far away from him as possible because of his freeloading.
After she passed away and I was going to leave, he gave me a sob story about how she had said on her deathbed
that she'd wanted us (me and my brother) to stay together.
I believe this was a lie to prevent me from moving out. That was 5 and a half years ago.
My life has gradually been going down hill since then and I just want to die now.

Yes. He threatens to get angry when he doesn't get his way or if I try to stand up to him
or point out that he mistreats me.
A few months ago, one of my negative alters surfaced and my brother got angry and smacked us really hard.
My alter threatened him for that and he blew off the threat.
For my sake my alter decided to spare him but, if it happens again I think it will lead to something truly horrible.
My brother acts as if his own feelings are all that matter and that because I can't work that my life is easy.
He doesn't like to drive me to any stores either even if I pay for his gas.
The only time I get to go anywhere is when we go out to pick up groceries.
Whenever family calls or visits he turns on the charm and acts like he's a caring brother and will sit and tell
outright lies in my presence.
A few of my positive alters resent the way that he treats me and they tell me so.
One in particular is utterly disgusted with him and another reminded me that he was gradually taking away ALL of my rights.
I don't get to see my doctor for more than a month away and even she doesn't know about this stuff because I forget to write it down or lately he goes into the doctor's office with me to talk to my doctor.

I wish I could but, my nerves are so shot that I've practically been chain smoking.
Even when I have money, my part of the bills are so high that I can't afford to smoke until my next check and practically
have to beg and grovel for him to give me change to go buy cigarettes with.
Tonight he gave me some change only after me admitting that I've been feeling suicidal but, don't want to go to the hospital because of how poorly they treat me when I'm there.

He is usually watching TV or working on his model cars at the time.
He tries to make his actions sound reasonable too like how I really need to quit smoking and blah blah blah and how he is just trying to help me.

Yes. He'll either tell me that I need to quit or that he can't spare any of his own because he is low on money and cigarettes
but, you know what?
Whenever he wants a whopper sandwich or fellet-o fish or Big Mac he almost always has the money for it.
After bills I barely half 100 dollars to last me the month!


I agree. Whenever I've tried to move out he has tried laying guilt trips on me and acting hurt and throwing up to me ALL of the things HE has done for ME.
All he has done is take me to doctors appointments, helped me out on meds and lawned me money for cigarettes which I always pay back even when I can't afford to.
Sometimes he'll even by me a cheese burger or some candy when I'm low on cash. I feel like a damn slave...