I'm in a very bad place right now. Like really bad. I don't want be here anymore. I have given so much of myself to my husband and there's nothing left of me. I'm gone. I don't understand why I'm here. What is the point? I feel so empty, like I'm just a shell. I'm so torn though because of my kids. Ugh I just want to leave. Why do I care so much about him that I let this happen to myself? I thought about calling the mobil crisis here but I know if I tell them the truth I will be admitted. A part of me wants that. I just want to escape this place. I don't want to be here but what about my kids. My husband has to work tomorrow and there's no one here for my kids. I don't know what to do. He can't miss his job, he's already been having trouble there and it would be my fault if he got fired for having to stay with the kids. And he would be so mad at me. It's so freaking ironic because why the f*** do I even care when I'm thinking of leaving this place? I don't want to care about him right now. All the **** I've dealt with this past year. I am not a person anymore. There is nothing left of me but I still freaking care. And I'm so terrified. I don't whats gonna happen. I'm just here crying thinking of how I should just end it and thinking of just leaving them all.