First off, bipolar disorder is not a weakness. It is an illness. If someone has cerebral palsy, do you call them weak? Of course not.

Self-medication has gotten a lot of bipolars into serious trouble. One problem is what is known as kindling. The more often your brain cycles through its bipolar fluctuations, the more easy it is for it to happen again. Self-medication doesn't work as well as doctor-supervised prescribing, so the mood cycles can become worse if left inadequately treated.

If your symptoms are sufficient that others have noticed, then they are sufficient to seek supportive care. Or, would you rather wait until you have a debilitating episode, out in public? Your current strategy seems to be self-defeating, virtually guaranteeing that what you fear will come to pass.

Talk to your doctor, and tell him about your fear. Please?

Lar