I can sympathize too much with this type of depression Rose. For me, my depression is on a spectrum.
Some periods are so weepy sad & crying to sobbing. Overthinking the past & just wanting to be listened to.
Some periods are full of anger, hate & rage & im a miserable person which creates such self hate I banish myself into silence.

And my worst & longest ones are the periods of “I’m done.” I didn’t have these when I was younger so maybe it is age related. These r my deepest & worst times that can spiral for yrs & yrs...& they have.
I have what I call my “7hr sentence of silence” I deal with 5 days a wk. It is up to me what I do during this time....& I have spent some of those curled into a couch. It’s a horrible existence knowing I’ve let so much of my life glide thru my fingers. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s painful to know there’s others like me.
So sometimes I talk my way, in my head, to do enough to get my head to the pillow & wish for a break in tomorrow. Sometimes that helps.

I hope you keep posting & seeing the little positives.