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Old Feb 18, 2018, 02:14 PM
Anonymous58205
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia View Post
I personally think that the concept of "re-traumatizing" tends to be overused in relation to therapy. When we get angry at disrespectful, condescending and irresponsible therapist behavior (or just behavior in general), it is meant to have some deeper meaning about our past, declared as acting out, and sometimes the T even says it's their skill to bring it out for the purpose of making the client more aware and subsequent healing. I really think that often it is nothing else but the anatomy of plain old abuse occurring in the moment, repeated by the T, and the client will become sensitized to it. It can perfectly be created in therapy. Also, I believe that anyone beyond, say, age 30 has encountered lots of disrespectful, manipulative people in our lives, it is just part of human nature and reacting to it strongly does not necessarily mean that we dislike it because our parents or whoever in our childhood had wronged us and we have "issues" - it is healthy and normal to feel irritated by unfairness. Probably more than overlooking, tolerating and forgiving all kinds of BS. I guess this is, at least in part, why therapists often encourage expressing anger with them - theoretically. The problem is that many are unable to take it, let alone use it constructively for the client. Instead, they often twist and turn it against the client and use it for self-gratification, often the more forgiving the client the more manipulatively. How on Earth wouldn't that be traumatic, it does not require deeper meaning and history to be that way, but if that is tied to it, it is even more harmful. So why do Ts do it? Well, why do people do it, especially in powerful positions? I think it's just the same kind of human nature and therapists are not exempt by any means.


This makes so much sense to me. Like Freud said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and abuse is abuse, doesn’t matter who is doing it.
People tend to think therapists are superhuman and don’t make mistakes, they do, all the time. I used to idealise my t but I clearly see she doesn’t know what to do and she will tell me that and ask me what I need.
Thanks for this!
Out There