After having time to speculate, I believe that drinking habit may have been to blame for me having to abandon my driving ambitions. Plus the fact that my bi-polar was due to run rampant and put me in "that place." I am sorry for trying to pass blame. I guess it is natural to blame others sometimes. My neighbour at time asked if I would go back and finish them when I was out of hospital but she said right away that I had lost a lot of confidence. That is a big thing when driving it is often about confidence more than ability. That is how much of the world operates. People with oodles of confidence often surpass those with more ability who are forced to blend into the back round. Then there is me who fell through the net. Poster child for how being intelligent and wanting to help others was never enough.