Although I don't think I am here any longer. This song stopped me dead in my tracks when i heard it last spring. At this point when I hear it I think about how far I've come; and a reminder that I don't want to go back here again.

I MAY KNOW THE WORD
Natalie Merchant / Indian Love Bride ©1995

I may know the word
but not say it
I may know the truth
but not face it

I may hear a sound
a whisper, sacred & profound
but turn my head
indifferent

I may know the word
but not say it
I may love the fruit
but not taste it
I may know the way
to comfort & to soothe
a worried face
but fold my hands
indifferent

if I'm on my knees
I'm begging now
if I'm on my knees
groping in the dark
I'd be praying for deliverance
from the night into the day
but it's all gray here
it's all gray to me

I may know the word
but not say it
this may be the time
but I might waste it
this may be the hour
something move me
someone prove me wrong
before night comes
with indifference

if I'm on my knees
I'm begging now
if I'm on my knees
groping in the dark
I'd be praying for deliverance
from the night into the day
but it's all gray here
but it's all gray to me

I recognize the walls inside
I recognize them all
I've paced between them
chasing demons down
until they fall
in fitful sleep
enough to keep their strength
enough to crawl
into my head
with tangled threads
they riddle me to solve

again & again & again