No, I am currently not attending therapy; however, I have been and am thinking of doing so. With that said, I might or might not, but I am open and considering the possibility.


Before I directly reply to your post, please allow me to note how I am attempting to ask for you and anyone else for input on the topic of if she ever loved or had (strong, significant) feelings for me at all any point during the relationship. I humbly ask the aforesaid request because I am trying to learn from what happened and how what happened and to come to terms with the past, present and even future (since this was a life plan and so forth) amongst other explanations and, maybe, reasons.

With that said, if the reply of "attending therapy" is the suggestion to find out more about the question of whether or not she ever had feelings and/or loved thank you for the proposal; however, if anyone here on this forum would type his/her direct perspective that also addresses my aforesaid question, I would be most grateful. Moreover, I am most grateful already and regardless if anyone directly responds to my question about her possible feelings and love.


As for your post, I apologize and think that I should clarify some, perhaps, important or at the very least relevant perspectives in my previous message. I, unfortunately, attempted to be concise and save more of the content for an impending post. Evidently, I poorly conveyed my thoughts in the previous message and lacked information that I should have included. As a result, I apologize for my poor attempt in accurately expressing my perspectives.

To clarify, when I refer to how I still have feelings for her and want to be with her, I share the perspective that for such a possibility to be actualized, change (in probably both me and her) and both volition and consciousness (to try to change and to change) would be requirements. (I would also suggest that a heart-to-heart and accepting responsibility for the past would be helpful if not necessary.)

For a quick example, if she were to still exhibit self-denial, shifting the blame and so on with me, we would not be able to be together. As she is (and is not) and probably how I am (and am not,) I find the possibility of being together as unhealthy and more.

As you expressed, she seems to have mainly used me in our relationship. I do not deny her actions of using me as a means to her ends. I question if anything else was there for her; however, as you said, she does not appear to care, be concerned and so forth for and to me in the present because she most likely does not.

Sorry again for my poor articulation and a long message. I am immensely appreciative to everyone for reading or reading and replying.