Yeah, I think that I do need and/or should understand as well. I think that I somewhat articulated why I do in my last reply. Your post did not address any of it other than the topic of therapy. Regardless, thanks for your post.

EDIT: In attempt to further clarify, I have still have feelings for her because if she maybe had feelings for me (e.g. love) it is still possible that she might love me. Possibilities abound. Perhaps, she loved me and her being is that of someone of NPD or some BPD. Another possibility is if she did not love me and merely used me. There are multiple options. I think that finding out which one would help me come to terms with my history (past, present and future) with her and be ok without her. If the only means to find out is through therapy, that is ok then.

I also would not necessarily stop loving someone, depending upon the circumstances. A hypothetical example would be if she were temporarily depressed. To elaborate, I am not just going to stop loving her as a result (of being depressed.) A possible historical is if she were to be of NPD, BPD or conditioned to manipulate to the point of not being in command of her manipulation and stopping it. With that said, the question of how she revealed herself to be when we were in London and post London is concerned with if that is how she was (and even is) in general as a person and/or if she is unwillingness to change. Both aforesaid concerns are pertinent and important in my humble opinion.