cj, you can't comment on your wife's behavior if you're not there. Make that a rule for yourself and things will get lots smoother in your relationship. You can't see/know what is going on. Kids are going to be pouring water on floors; wet floors are not murder! You can only control your own behavior, not your wife's so try only working on yourself and not worrying about changes in your wife until you are happy with yourself or you are there to comment on the problems in the household as the are occurring.