The last few days I have started to stabilise after a month of mixed, which ranged from mild to almost needing IP. Haldol seems to be the med that rescued me. I was hallucinating at times and it freaked me out sometimes. Other times I thought the hallucinations revealed another dimension and I was fascinated.

I was deliberately avoiding Haldol for reasons I don't really understand. Then last Wednesday my T sternly advised me to take it in moderate doses for at least a few days and get back to him. He had that deeply concerned look in his eyes that I have seen in the past when I am very ill. He gave me the impression that if I didn't improve in the next week he would be making sure I went IP. Anyway, it is good to feel stable and be grounded in reality again.