I texted you to cancel my appointment because I feel better. I am noticing how anxious I am getting because you haven't answered me. It is painful and it makes me start wondering if you are upset that I cancelled, or that I even asked. Instead of being normal, and thinking that you just haven't had a chance to respond, I think about why you might not be responding and I am good at coming up with negative ideas.

BREAKING NEWS: Thanks for texting me back just now. At least when I am worrying about why you (or someone at work) is responding to me in a certain way or not responding to me in a certain way, instead of getting lost in my thoughts, I am doing more mentalization. I am thinking about what I am thinking/feeling and just noticing the anxiety that comes with this territory.

I know that one concept is that feelings come from thoughts, but in this/these instance(s) it feels like my anxiety reaction comes first. And it is as if I am trying to think of why I feel so bad and am drawing conclusions based on how bad I feel. I guess my problem is that i sometimes view my feelings as facts, maybe?

Although I am more aware of this process, I still start to feel unsafe, especially at work, and it causes me so much stress. It is so painful and scary.