I wish I couldn't relate to your struggle....for a different reason but it was still a struggle to leave. My marriage was NEVER good so I never had that to look back on....I just had kept the hopes he would finally some day grow up & become a responsible team partner. It took years to give up that hope but when it gets horribly bad in ALL aspects of the marriage it becomes much easier to walk (run) out on.

The fact that he is a good H except in one area may be why you are having a harder time leaving. Even after getting my disabiluty, the bad financial situation he created when my mental health condition hit actually kept me trapped until I got inheritance that allowed me to escape. Even that was iffy & had to put my farm in an LLC to protect it.

That final decision to call it quits is never easy. Some guys just make it easier than others.