Haha, indeed, I increasingly seem to be of the perspective that I was taking for a ride, just not a fun one.

During the period of the breakup, she insisted that I was selfish and spoiled. Whether or not she was projecting, she seemed to be in my humble perspective, although I am conscious of how I might have been selfish (and even spoiled) during any segment in our history. Also, at a point in our post break up period, I texted to her how she was being both "selfish and self centered" to which she responded that she "knew the type of person that she was. She was not selfish, nor self centered."

I did not investigate, but I probably should have. I considered doing so, but I chose not to do so. I suppose that I would have asked to have seen bank statements or some tangible proof of the money. With that said, there were other and probably other avenues (e.g. private investigator.)

Yeah, therapy is probably one of the next, impending steps for me. Thank you for your continued reading and responses.

Oh, I agree with your claims about "hanging out." Moreover, even before your explanation, my perspective when I wrote what I did was in accord with what you wrote. Additionally, I was not trying to articulate "hanging out" as defined as you have written. I apologize for my lack of clarity and poorly expressing my thoughts. Again, I tried to be not too longwinded and focus on what was most relevant and important in the story; however, I will attempt to elaborate in what I meant. Please bear with me if that is ok. I will try to be concise, but not skip what I am attempting to judge as most pertinent and important to clarify how we continued post breakup. I am sorry in advance for such walls of text.

After we broke up, she told me that we should take a break and not talk for a while (one month or week, I now forget which.) When she told me that, I accepted, but the more that I thought about how and why she broke up with me, not talking to one another, dumping me, how the present may unfold (with us being not together and so on,) I decided to go back to London and try to reconcile with her.

Maybe, I will tell that story in the next post or two, but I will try to explain in general what our history was like after post breakup without written in a descriptive story…

I went back to London for her. We eventually met. After some days, dialogue, and so forth, we reconnected and were on pleasant terms with one another. We were sexual, joking and so on as if we were with one another again. Before I left, she pleaded with me to stay, told me she loved me and more. I wanted to stay, but I told her that I needed to return home because I needed a job to earn money. Additionally, I already technically deferred to the following autumn semester. Thus, my VISA was no longer valid to live in the UK for the current year.

Sadly, I left; however, we continued to contact one another. She would call me almost every day. She would tell me that she missed me, had feelings for me and loved me. I was supposed to visit her again for Christmas, but I did not do so. (again, there is a story there.) Subsequently, we still communicated, but a week or so after New Year’s, she deteriorated in communication, caring, concern and so on. She did not communicate with me between Christmas day and New Year's Eve day. At first, she would tell me that she still had feelings for me and so forth, but that she still had such trouble and was traumatized from what I did in “abandoning” her and being “horrible” to her while I was originally in London.

Post New Year’s, she told me to move on from the past and not let it affect where and how we were in the present. I did as she requested, yet she would still bring up the past. Consequently, verbal back and forths would ensue because I would try to talk about changing towards the future as she suggested and how we were both not doing so. With that said, we both seemed to be of the perspective and willing to reconnect. We would talk about it and trying to do so. The last two weeks of communicating with her were when communication deteriorated the most. The last two weeks of communicating with her were when communication deteriorated the most. She barely spoke to me. When she did, what she said was hardly anything of meaning.

During the entire period of post breakup, she told me that she would be dating other guys, but she did not want to be sexual with anyone because “she did not have time and only wanted to be with me.” I think that she even admitted during my visit back to the UK that she was already on tinder as soon as I left the UK in order to move on from me, keep me off her mind, and so on. With that said, during the last two weeks, she was especially controlling and dictating if and when we communicated, how, when and so on.

She initially started to dictate and control communication even before she broke up with me. There was a change in our relationship that I noticed after a few days of being physically separated with me in the US and her in the UK. She famously told me that “if she did not want to talk with me, she wouldn’t” and that “she was not available whenever I wanted her to be” as if I were being controlling and demanding in continuing with our typical rate, level and openness in communication.

Even at the last of when we spoke, which was when she told me that she was going to take a break from speaking with me, she would not tell me that she did not have feelings, stopped loving me and so on. She focused more on “needing a break from speaking with me” and specifically stating so. That is how it was left with a few other texts after that. She would also claim during the last two weeks that she was "trying," but it was "not working," yet she (and her actions) seemed to not try, not care that she was trying, not care that we were not reconciling.

(I should probably just write the story from post breakup to what ever point because it would probably be much more clearing and revealing.)

I am sorry for the wall of text.