I think this is a great piece that you’ve started to self analyze & see maybe a dark side that you’re not thrilled with. That’s hard to step away & look at w/o our emotions getting in the way bec we wanto protect ourselves.

What I noticed was your ability to slow down which I think is great in a relationship & savor it, but it seems like you have a check list of things that might be overpowering it? These “milestones” that seem to be linear in value. You talk about marking them off.
Who benefits from all these straight lines? Her? You? Or control?

I could really relate to the net analogy. I think it’s a beautiful way to think about a relationship...& you need to share this theory with her...or there is no net. Make sense? If you both understand the friendship net you’ll both use it.
So have you shared any of this with your partner so you’re both on the same page.
Just an opinion.
Keep posting instead of using fists. (Alpha wolf delegates power)