physical abuse description





I remember as a kid that my father would do this thing till we moved out and still do if I talk to him.

If he wanted to find out something that we did kid like like write our name in concrete or eat the last piece of cake.... he and mom would buddy up with me and make like what he suspects that we did was the greatest thing.....this would trigger our trusting selves and happily go along saying yes we did the whatever all proud and stuff..... then all hell would follow next. Punches, heavy hand, dragging, screaming, name calling, big leather belt, pain, welts....and I was only 8...and up to 18. Granted then I was a multiple.

Growing up....after years of this....plus the paranoia that comes from untreated bipolar.....life would take on this dark evil atmosphere and you can see the evil back handed glint in the eyes of all people as they gleen out of the corner of their eye as they are going to do you.

This look would cause panic and tharn....a deer caught in the headlights.

Even today it freezes.....father tried that on the phone with his voice and a little came out and obeyed apologizing like forever...boy that piss us off...we ranted and raved about it after that and haven't spoke to him since after we informed him of our DID....look it up finger pointing time die mofo alone.

You can say a lot of panic and distrust and ptsd came of this technique they used to trap us. it always triggered the butt kissing part begging for forgiveness trying to stay the immediate beating to follow.

I hate him to this day and beyond because of this. Even today...in the beginnings of hand to hand combat....I freeze....daze....then pissed because of the mind screw I had and the embarrassment of being beat up or public ridicule because I froze. so sad.

Even today at 50 it still happens. My head swims with voices of other parts.