I googled and came across a list of Schema-Focused Relationship Problems (https://www.newharbinger.com/psychso...nship-problems). Interesting way to think about my problem. It said "...The theme of these problems often remains the same over time and repeats itself in different types of relationships... " I totally realize I am trying to break myself free from a negative pattern that has developed between H and me. When he does certain things it triggers so much negativity within me then it can take me a while to settle myself down--I never thought of myself as a neurotic person but feel like he has brought this trait out in me. When my mom made me feel this way, I would stay in my room or take off by myself (hiking/horsebackriding/etc) but there have not been many breaks from my H. I have not cultivated other friendships and he has always wanted to be with me all of the time. We eat three meals together, I walk with him rather than by myself, etc. It is sweet that he wants to spend so much time with me but taking off and being alone was how I coped with my mom's criticism and strictness and my H has always discouraged me from taking off for very long. He even likes to go to the store with me whenever I go. Before my attempt, he would drive me to and pick me up from work. Having no breaks from this man is exhausting even though he means well. My mom meant well too. They both are/were very controlling because they want to ensure good outcomes but when you treat people that way they feel less free/happy.