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Yes, I either started waiting to see if he would initiate, or I found an unhealthy way of getting myself to.
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It sounds like your H doesn't understand how to engage with you sexually where the sexual experience is actually rewarding to you. Instead he isn't passionate with you and most likely leaves you feeling like the act was more about you "servicing" him and your needs are not met at all. He is a frog man, you know, basically just hops on and then hops off. Does that sound right?