I am not really sure why I started this thread. Maybe I was feeling really anxious and had a craving for my old habits of coping. I didn't give in but maybe I was feeling sorry for myself.

I am probably in the next stage of up-leveling my life. That is, changing my situation, which is very, very difficult. There are others who come on Psych Central who understand. People here are trying to get out of toxic relationships, find a better job, move etc. and all these require a great deal of strength and courage. Unfortunately, depression is a strength sapper.

As well, I am feeling depressed about all the toxic people I attracted in the past. They did not help but hurt me...and I am wary of making new friends. A lot of times very toxic people can disguise themselves and in the beginning they seem very caring. But a lot of toxic people are takers...and will take advantage of someone who is battling mental problems.

I think things will probably naturally improve over time if I keep on the path I am now on...and I do believe it is a path of love.