Hey there dearest DechanDewa,

Please forgive me if this post comes out a bit deluded, but I just woke up out of Seroquel slumber and my whole body and head feels like it has been hit by a gigantic sledgehammer. I was going to wait till I regained myself, but I see you just posted here, so I am compelled to answer now, out of friendship, and well out of compassion for what you are going through.

First of all, no one can understand depression and what its like, unless they have walked in the depression shoes, (which are like two cinderblocks attached to you feet, literally), and added on to that the hardship of recovery from addiction which quite frankly, is another battle in itself, that takes so much damn will power and courage to overcome.



I don't know where you were going with this, but honestly telling someone they are not "the real you" and "you do all that stuff without love" is basically saying they don't care about themselves, which is damaging and hurtful to the OP who is suffering a great deal to begin with. Not cool dude.

I feel nothing but empathy for what you are feeling, (in no way shape or form is that pity), and I hope you can pull yourself out of this depression by taking the steps to "up-level" your life, case in point the 10K, which is an undertaking that I, myself, am not brave enough to even attempt.

Even though depression is the most crippling strength sapper there is, I urge you to keep on fighting the good fight, involving yourself in that wonderful church of yours, and walking that path of love,

Toxic people often come as wolves in sheep's clothing, an attach themselves on a false pretense of caring and affection. BUT, what if the wolf (me), comes to you and walks with you, without any disguises, and protects you, and fends off those who hurt you? (Woof, Woof, )

Hang on, and you know what keep posting in this thread, even if its just to get your thoughts out. I am walking with you, by your side, and I definitely believe you can pull yourself through this.