Well, yes, there was a lot in your post. I read it several times. I just think it would be helpful for you and me, both, if you could address a few issues. Maybe this thread has brought up something specific for you.

We have talked about toxic relationships on this thread. You also talked about the intense emotions in unrequited love. Personally, I think hanging on to unrequited love is toxic. How can it be amusing? Do you think hanging on to the emotions around unrequited love could be an addiction?

Maybe this thread is about how to reduce emotional pain so that one can create a life worth living. For me, eliminating addictions and getting healthy was a step. Eliminating toxic relationships was another step. I am probably ready for more action. IDK.

Thanks for posting again.