I think it is because the only love I have ever felt is unrequited love. Love makes me feel more human. So the pain I feel over my unrequited love makes me feel alive.

It challenges me to be a better person. For sure it is addicting. For sure it is painful. For sure I want to eliminate the pain. But if pain forces you to go forward when no pain makes you passive and apathetic, I guess that is what I am getting at.

That is how it works in my brain, which for sure is unusual. I guess I have been lucky that those times where I felt down, and a rare point actually depressed, it forced me to move forward and that lead to success. In case that it had led to failure, I do not know what would have happened.

For sure filling voids with positive things and finding distractions are good strategies. That is why I think we all need to build social safety nets during times where we feel fine. And that is something I haven't done. From until my late twenties I thought that I could handle whatever misery alone in solitude.

And for sure there are some 'simple' steps, to describe at least, that can have a meaningful effect on depression. Both a healthy sleep pattern and exercise.

I have seen what addictions can do to some people. If you quit an unhealthy addiction like smoking or alcohol when you feel depressed, you are really strong.