You need to not care about what is going on with her. You need to care about what is going on with you. There is nothing you can do to change the past and a future with her seems to not be in the cards. I know that what you are going through right now is difficult and painful. It is okay to be sad, have questions that only she can answer (if you could get a straight answer from her), etc. What I have found helpful is to get to the 'Anger' part. You may go back and forth through the various stages of grief (Ross-Kubler Model). Yes, it is horrible what she has done to you....Get mad! Anger gets me moving.