Quote:
Originally Posted by ForWhatItsWorth2U
You need to not care about what is going on with her. You need to care about what is going on with you. There is nothing you can do to change the past and a future with her seems to not be in the cards. I know that what you are going through right now is difficult and painful. It is okay to be sad, have questions that only she can answer (if you could get a straight answer from her), etc. What I have found helpful is to get to the 'Anger' part. You may go back and forth through the various stages of grief (Ross-Kubler Model). Yes, it is horrible what she has done to you....Get mad! Anger gets me moving.
|
Thanks much again for posting and continuing to try to assist me in my troubles. I am attempting to not care about her and as you said, "what's going on with her;" however, it has been extremely difficult for me to do so. I agree, acknowledge and accept that the past cannot be changed. With that said, I was still wanting and willing to (try to) change the present and future. In direct reply to your statement about having questions, which only she can answer, in the past, she would (probably deliberately) not give a straight and honest answer to me. Whether or not she would be any different from the past and be honest and open with me, it is not disclosed. (I doubt, but it is a possibility.)
A many thanks again for your support. I will try to do so as you suggest. Lately, especially in the past day or so, I exhibited some anger and similar moods and emotion about a multitude of aspects that pertain the present, her, and so on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
You asked what I mean by reality. Reality is that she used you, then dumped you and now is dating others. That’s reality. You instead hanging on to her words (she says this or that) instead of looking at her less than loving actions. That’s fantasy. Focus on reality
|
Thank you very much for your post and explicitness in your post. With that said, I think that I explained that I do not deny "reality" as you phrased it and explained so in earlier posts on previous pages. I acknowledge and accept "reality" and that she used me, dumped me, is now dating others and more. I will not say, "the," because there is probably more than one issue. So, an issue is that I still did not want "reality" to be as it was because I still cared and loved her during the relationship, post break up and during the most recent month of no communication at all. Moreover, I still wanted to (try to) change the present and "reality" (whether it would have been through me taking the initiative or not.) Thus, I both acknowledged and accepted "reality." I just wanted and willed to change it and how it was.