Hello Sweezi: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! [emoji144] I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

To me what you describe sounds similar to what is referred to as "existential depression". Here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives by our host, Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. on the subject:

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!