I am on meds, and you are right fuzzy, I am seeing a therapist too. I haven’t seen her for a little while though, my money management has been terrible lately and I haven’t been able to afford it. But I get paid next week so I will try to arrange an appointment soon. I have been seeing my care coordinator fortnightly recently as things deteriorated and she wanted to keep a closer eye on things.

And yes shoulds/shouldn’ts don’t help but it just annoys me that I can’t be ok. Depression/ BPD just like to keep rearing their ugly heads when I think I’m ok.

It is hard, but I guess I need to accept that there is no easy quick fix. When I have battled with suicidal ideation/plans/attempts for the majority of the last decade it nakes sense that it won’t just stop just because some things are going right in my life. It would be nice though....

I’m not sure I know what coping is either. What I do to cope is not healthy and probably people would see that as me not coping. I guess it’s just what we do to try and stay alive....