Well, I don't know about it being mind games. I was in the exact same situation with one of my exes. It was a long distance relationship, and he was self-employed, so he was always hustling for clients. If any client called for any reason at any time, they were the first priority. He was so worried about losing clients that he could never put anything ahead of their needs. He would drop contact with me for long periods of time. Finally I ended it. I tried to be understanding, but being self-employed myself, with my own clients, I know that clients understand when you have boundaries and when you can respond to an emergency and when you can't. Also, most of the things he described as emergencies, weren't really emergencies. And he had a habit of giving his clients an unrealistic expectation of how quickly he could complete work, hence getting behind and having to ditch me and our plans so he could stay and finish his work.

So, I don't know if it's a mind game or if it's that work is his priority and he will NEVER put that over your plans with him. So I would break it off. He's made it pretty clear that his work is his priority and he cannot prioritize time with you. And prioritizing time with you doesn't have to mean his work suffers. I set boundaries with my clients, I'm still very flexible and available to them, and they know when I'm going to be unavailable because I'm spending time with family or friends, and they have learned to respect that (mostly because I am so flexible and available all the rest of the time).

So...I don't know about mind games, but I know about commitment and priorities, and he is showing no commitment to you. I don't know if this really has anything to do with BDSM, because it seems, at it's heart, that any relationship is the same. Yes, the details are different, but all relationships require commitment and communication, neither of which he is exhibiting.

Seesaw