So the other day I was talking to my dad on the phone and I decided not to tell him about my bp dx. The whole time I was on disability due to ptsd my mother thought I was on welfare, and I wasn't in the mood for another statement of disbelief.

I always thought bp was hereditary but when I asked my p doc that the last time I saw him he was kind of vague in his answer. As far as I know nobody else in my family has a mental health dx. Nobody else in my family would ever see a therapist or a psychiatrist. My dad's stepdad was a psychiatrist and my dad has the biggest resentment I've ever seen against psychiatrists.

Its so utterly frustrating how self centered my family is.

I've grown to accept my dad's narcissism, however that doesn't make it any easier. Its always all about him all the time.

Anyways now I feel like I'm keeping this secret from my family after all these years and its nonsense. I can't even begun to talk about the abuse I endured growing up. I hate that word abuse. Its become so commonplace. When I was in high school my English teacher filed a child abuse report on my mom. That's abuse. This other stuff? I don't know. There's objective abuse and then there's "I feel abused". Generally I don't go by my feelings. Like at work one of my supervisors is a bully, as told to me by a coworker. In that case I know that I'm objectively being abused in other words it can be proven by others and seen by others.

Then there's relationships.

Anyways I'm saying all this to say that when I learned that trauma can trigger bipolar I was like 'aha! well that makes sense now as even ptsd can be overcome but bp? That's a lifelong dx from what I understand'. Right?