Anxious and stressed out due to doing vocational skills group. It's nothing like my care co ordinator said it would be and though i have pushed myself to go i'm really struggling with it.
It doesn't help that everything is so formally structured and there is so much stuff you are expected to get your head round and do which i am finding hard due to certain cognitive difficulties.
The problem being that the so called mh professionals won't even take on board how the social anxiety/cognitive problems are making doing this an uphill struggle and a fruitless exercise.
They have their agenda which in turn is the government's agenda and any problems are to be glibly and dismissively swept ahead.
Beep the fact of how it might make some people feel worse trying to live up to this agenda which is less about meeting the needs of the individual client than it is about imposing what is dictated to be good for the client.

Truth be told it's making me feel increasingly anxious/stressed/tense/depressed/ and most certainly useless, angry and annoyed. I am constantly worrying about the group with either not being able to sleep because of it or alternatively finding myself so emnotionally/mentally drained with the anxiety i am in bed by 8 or 9
wanting to curl up foetal fashion and shut everything out

On Friday afternoon after the group i went up to the cemetry to put some flowers on my wife's grave as it would have been her birthday and to have my customary talk to her.After doing so Found i had gotten the time when the main gates close wrong(thought it 4.30 but it's 4.00 this time of year) and went into a hysterical fear sticken panic because i thought i was going to be locked in there. I know this is going to sound silly and stupid but i have a poor sense of direction/orientation and going through the main entrance was the only way i knew to get in and out of the cemetery.
Luckily by chance, as i was unable to think straight as i was in such a muddle headed hysterical state, i found a way out minutes before the cemetery closed completely.
I was shaking and either crying or on the verge of tears all the way home and spent the next 14 or so hours after getting home in bed.

The way i feel at the moment going into a mental coma would suit me quite nicely . The pressure and the stress is really getting to me.