Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
It’s a nice thing that we are just strangers on the internet, helping and sharing our most personal stuff.
Do yourself a favor and don’t put too much effort into trying to repair and work through horrible behavior from a girlfriend or friend. And be very grateful she showed you her true colors before you made a commitment and had kids with her.
The nerve of her to ask you to pay her rent while she continues to date in order to built “trust” in you is ridiculous. I’ll bet you can now think of some choice things you would have liked to respond to her about that.
I must admit, I’ve known some really bizarre people. I knew a woman who married this man who had a job that entailed traveling often. She was appalled that he had the nerve to expect her to live with him once they were married. She thought he was going to keep her while he traveled and was never home! And of course, it ended disastrously. There are many users, and I hope this taught you to not be a victim of one again.
If she was your first love, I can see how you were so sucked in that you lingered too long after seeing her ugliness.
Put her dinner on your credit card, ha!
Relationships are a give and take.
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Thanks very much for the kind words, empathy, advice and sharing the story that you did.
Indeed, it is as you say. I am most grateful for such a platform, to access it and find such people, who are willing and kind to access here as well and host this forum.
I will try to do as you propose. Yeah, I think about the hypothetical if we were to have had kids and so forth... if there were to be no changes and so forth, yikes.
Haha, it does seem to be, doesn't it? Well, I thought of multiple possibilities to how and with what to reply, I decided to not pay for an apartment for her and told her so throughout November, December and January. I explained that I needed a job and income to even try financially assist her; however, she continued to ask until two weeks or so before we stopped talking. Moreover, there was much guilt tripping and blaming about not renting an apartment and other good and services (e.g. dinner.)
Another quick summary of a story between me and her was Christmas. I was supposed to visit her for Christmas, but she wanted me to take her to a different country as a Christmas vacation (for several days.) I did not even end up going because she increasingly seemed like she did not care, was unconcerned, not expressing love to me and not seemingly being in love me. The night before I was supposed to leave to visit her, she asked me about scheduling appointments for apartment viewings. Again, I told her that I would not be able to help unless I were to be employed and with a salary.
Subsequently, she quickly stopped appearing as affectionate, kind and loving and hung up the phone. She then texted me that she was "tired of my bullsh*t and dangling things in front of her face and that she was done with me." She seemed to be projecting amongst other self-denial actions. She also blocked me on Facebook Messenger for the entire evening (mind you that the UK is five hours ahead of EST.) At approximately 6:00am she called me as if last night did not happen and/or did not occur as it did and asked me to drive to her parents' residence to pick her clothes up to bring with me to the UK for her and to her.
A disastrous end is terrible as is the seeming expectation of the lady.
Yeah, I think this, what ever this is, has taught and is teaching me much about relationships, life, people and more interconnected subjects.
I read, hear and find out from others about scenarios like these, but it's so different to be on the inside and in one during and after it. Thank you very much.
Haha, yeah. Let me just bill my card as she uses me at her will and does whatever she wants, whenever she wants (which is more than justified and ok for her.)
It's funny, appreciative and astute that you say 'relationships are 'give and take.' In mine, at least in general and in most aspects, I seemed to give, while she seemed to only take; however, with the question of feelings and forth, attention, sex and so on, I suppose that we both gave and took.
She was not my first relationship where I was of the perspective that I was in love, but it was a number of years since my last relationship. Additionally, I was of the view that I was going to marry this woman, have kids with her, share a life, share a life plan and more together... which was new to me. In my folly, I am responsible.
(Thanks again for your post.)