No, you are not too critical. And yes, after 32 years without much change in character, much interest in growing up (much less the very hard work it takes; I say that from experience) I don't think he's going to do a whole lot of maturing? Why would he? He's not hearing anything different from you that he hasn't heard since college and he wasn't listening then, why would he now? He thinks things will keep going along the same, same job, same accomodating wife, same credit card minimums.

My husband is 7 years older than I am, will be 65 this August, and we're thinking about the future (like good little ants versus grasshoppers :-) and one of the tasks for me, is understanding our finances, a frightening thing for me because they're so large and complicated. We're sitting together, doing the bills together, transferring money from hither to yon (we're retired) and back again. I wanted a second car (we were trying to make it on one) and had to give up my grad school classes and book buying to get it so we wouldn't get any additional monthly debt. I don't see any of that in your husband, any thinking of you, the future, or even himself! He's not selfish, he's got much worse problems in my view, he's immature and stupid!

I identify some with your husband's youth. My brothers and I were all "charming" and sarcastic, etc. But, for myself, I keep trying to remind myself of the verse in Proverbs 31:30: "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." I try to rein in the "charm" when I see I'm leaning on it instead of solid hard work. I don't think your husband is aware of himself, just blindly uses his old gifts for self-interest and like "beauty" I think they have to desert him at some point and the end result is going to be really pitiful?