tajk, thank you for the good words and for putting a perspective on my wifes day for me.. my children RE agaes 14, 5 and 3 all boys, i know they can be a handful. see , my wife doesnt do any of the things you are associated with at the moment, i would love her to be more active in that but she is still relatively young too. see, my thing is she took a part time job at the small bar in town waiteressing. she said she did it to get out of the house a bit and have some time to herself which i understand. but now those late nights are starting to interfere with the way she is caring for our children. dont get me wrong i dont think she is a bad mother at all, but i would like it if she is awake when they are ya know, that just seems like the responsible thing to me and everytime i try to bring it up she gets angry and we fight. i think i am approaching the right way by telling her it worries me when they are un supervised. i wish i could be like your hubby then but these trust issues always seem to get the best of me even though i know deep inside and sometimes right up front that she isnt and never has been the unfaithful kind. and she grew up without a father due to a broken home and the last thing she says she wants is a broken home for our children. ya know we live in a very small community and if anything were to happen like that everyone would know and i am sure that would be embarrassing to my wife with everyone knowing i am over here working. i am just so caught up in my old ways and want to stop